Gopi Nair

How to transform the energy of GRIEF?

As a result of the global pandemic, the world has become a virtual graveyard, and death has stolen more than three hundred thousand lives all over the world. And the heartbreaking tragedy is not over yet. The staggering number of two hundred and forty-four thousand includes somebody’s mom, dad, wife husband children brothers and sisters, and close confidants. Humanity is confronted with the task of dealing with painful grief, and comforting others who lost their loved ones. Nobody can blame if a person going through grief questions the very purpose of living. Especially in today’s world with all the isolation and social distancing and the very threat to our survival, we need to muster all the support from within to overcome the grief and, move forward with renewed vigor and vitality to complete the unfinished business in our personal life.

All our negative emotions like fear, anger fury, and grief are justifiable for some time. But life has to go on, and our children need to go back to school, and we need to do everything to assure a healthy life for them. Time is the dictator of duty! Whatever duty time defines for us, we have to gladly accept it with both hands. There are no big things in life, only small things that make a big difference. Small acts of kindness like wiping the tears of a young child who lost her mother, or a father who lost his son or a daughter, go a long way even in dealing with our own grief. Years ago, a wise man told me that the best way to solve one’s problem is to help another person solve his or her problems! In that helping process, you will find the solution to your own problem!

We need to understand the process of Grieving! Grief is energy revolving around the loss of a loved one, and it can trigger feelings of guilt anger, and fury. It is a negative feeling, filled with energy. As you know energy can not be destroyed, yet it can be transformed! During the grieving process, it is ok to feel mad or sad, it is ok to feel anger and frustration.

The following steps can help you manage your grief effectively:

Express your grief. It is very essential for you to express your grief to your loved ones including close friends. You can cry and yell at someone to get the negativity out of you. If you do not do that, and you vault away your grief it can appear in another form seriously affecting your physical and emotional health. The more you express the grief the more you will feel lighter, and the emotional load will become bearable. Bottling your emotion without expressing them is like hiding a bomb within you. It will definitely explode one day wrecking your emotional stability, to say the least.

Time is the best healer! As time passes you will feel much better because your shattered mind found ways to reassemble itself to work normally. Every month is a milestone in the grieving process and at the end of twelve months, the process is complete and you will find your freedom from grief. During this one year, you can do things for the departed one, like praying regularly for the soul to rest in peace. If you are a religious person you can go to the place of worship of your choice (or even better to the favorite temple or church or mosque of the departed) and offer some prayers or arrange a mass in his or her name. This will certainly help you transform the energy from negative to ultra-positive!


I am not a stranger to grief. My wife Lalitha passed away two months ago, not related to Covid 19. She has been with me for more than forty-six years, and I have known her for half a century. Although I knew it was coming, you can not fathom the experience before you go through it. One thing I am trying to grapple with it is my feeling of guilt. ” I should have done more for her”, and “maybe I could have been nicer to her while she was with me” These thoughts are haunting me sometimes although not always.

To cope with my grief, I talk to her as soon as I get up in the morning, and just before I go to sleep! I stand in front of her picture with folded hands and seek her forgiveness for any and all things I have done wrong! Does it help me? Yes. And I also know within my heart that I have to go through the grieving process, and after a year I will feel much better. I also came to the rude realization that my life will not be the same again, as I have to live with the new reality! I strongly believe that when you live for yourself life is utterly miserable. But when you live for others it is pure joy!